Disclaimer: This post is written by a member in response to Founder’s Note: The Dating Apocalypse! What’s up with Swiping Right & Finding Love? The views are personal, and no way is it a generalization for all the people out there. This post is written here verbatim to stay true to the author’s perspective. We welcome your responses. Please write to us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Hello there Himanshu,
It was fun to read your article on A World Alike today.
Well I shouldn’t be saying this but it was a kind of a relief (i felt even slightly sadistic) when your article said that is written from a perspective of a “man” who has fallen prey to this “swiping”game.
I am using the word “prey” because sadly all of us especially the Indian Youth who are suffering from this “we are ok with dating but not committing and then may be arranged marriage” kind of situation, are rapidly finding these apps convenient to satisfy our egos by having numerous matches and also trying out some of the forbidden stuff! And when i read that even men have their set of difficulties in this game i thought why not tell you the other side.
I am a 28 year old working independent woman who has been using these dating apps for over a year now. If someone still asks me “Why are you here or what are you looking for” it baffles me because that’s the question i frequently ask myself. The only answer i have is that I have little time to interact with anyone with interesting conversations, sense of humour and yes testosterone as well! And if something works out why not!
Now as far as generalizing the scenario it is quite different for women, because getting matches is never a problem.I always get teased by some of my guy-friends saying that “hey for you every right swipe is a match…we however have to settle with whatever we get”.
Tinder is addictive. You get a sense of achievement when you get matched with some of the hottest of the guys in town. The only part which irks us ladies is “torso only pictures whom i classify as morons and dick pictures who are a combination of morons and perverted pricks”.
Then why do the girls spoil the fun by saying the M word (marriage i mean!). Lets face it. Career driven or not every woman somewhere feels that she should have an ideal partner or companion for life (if not as husband but at least a soulmate)
Well, and men being men they know that women do not swipe right looking just at the first picture. So they make it a point to look domestic (holding a dog or even better..a baby), social(by putting pictures in a kurta at a friend’s wedding) and funny(pics with girls to tell that he is a cool guy).
Bingo! What a perfect catch (i mean match). So majority of the Indian women who are still struggling to get over the remnants of not being “living only to get married”do lose their control and jump straight to the most dreaded part of asking for commitment which scares away even the right ones.
But i wouldn’t blame these ladies as it becomes really frustrating when 70% of the matches are only interested in having casual things or worst begin by lying and then ditch the girls in the most unceremonious ways. My personal experience is that majority of the men on these apps do not believe at all in marriage or even having a single partner as it is too much detrimental for their lives to handle the tantrums and clingy behaviors of their girlfriends.
And as for the rest of the women; even the the married ones who are into it for casual dating or plain hookups; tinder has definitely given them an advantage (one brownie point for the feminists yay!) where all these years only men were allowed to do one-night stands without being ashamed of it.
So the question remains. Is India ready to accept tinder culture like the rest of the world?
In a country where offline dating itself was looked down upon by most of the people has tinder become a boon for women where they do have options apart from shaadi.coms or has it killed their only chance of actually meeting their Mr.Right in flesh and blood.
Well like they say…Ever since sex became easy to get; Love became harder to find!